Taking a walk in the light...

     I went on a walk this weekend with my family... As I was breathing in the fresh air and gazing ahead at the trail, I experienced a moment of breakthrough. 

     For the past 2 years, one of my greatest life challenges has been in figuring out how to do relationship with God (as a wife and a mom) in a way that comes close to comparing to the intimacy I had with Him as a single person.  On the one hand, I have a husband that I long to draw close to God WITH, not separately.  And what exactly is that suppose to look like?  Then on the other hand, I don't have a fraction of the time that I used to have to spend with God.   

    I am forever grateful that God has brought me to this new season, but adjusting to life as a Wife and a Mom has been an extremely challenging journey!  And somewhere along the way, I think I just began to depend too much on my own strength.  I grew weary.  Without even realizing it, I slowly began living in my own strength instead of resting in Him in my place of weakness.  I long to rely on God like I once did, in a way that literally sets my heart on fire!  

     So this question of "how" has remained my heart cry. 

     And now suddenly, I have felt God awakening my heart to a new season with Him.  He is showing me that relationship with Him is never going to look exactly like it once did, but that it can still be incredibly beautiful and intimate.  He is reminding me to SEEK HIM in every single moment... And to meditate on the fact that He is ALWAYS seeking after me.  "Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life." (Psalm 23:6)

     So on our walk, I saw this trail ahead of me, with a beam of light bursting down at the end.  And God spoke to me in this moment saying, "You have been on a detour these past 2 years, trying to get back to a place of intimate connection with me... Now you are finally arriving back to the place where my light shines BRIGHTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE.  Please take my hand.  And let's go on a entirely new walk together.  Welcome back."  

   

    I feel like my spirit has come back to life again... And, my soul is rejoicing in the light!